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10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Go on the Thrive Retreat

In less than 3 weeks time we will be making our way to Cocoa Beach, FL for our annual Thrive Retreat. Many young adults have already signed up but for those who have not there are but 6 days left to register. I thought about listing off reasons why you should go. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized a warning was more fitting. So here are...

top-ten-gold10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Go on the Thrive Retreat

10. You'll probably get sunburned.

We are going to be at a hotel that is on the beach and we’ll be spending a good part of Saturday hanging out. You’re young. You’re going to be distracted with your friends and forget to put on sunscreen and by Saturday evening you are going to be glowing red. It’ll be great.

9. You might just make unforgettable memories.

Memories can be sweet. I went on a young adults retreat 9 years ago and here’s all I remember: Someone caught a baby alligator and put it into another guy's shower, there were thousands of spiders at the retreat site (by the way we are not going to a retreat site for this reason) and God convinced me once and for all that prophesy is not fake. There you have it. You might not want to go just to spare yourself from memories like these.

8. You can probably just listen to the messages online for free instead.

Why pay to sit and hear messages that you can download for free? I’ll tell you why, because everyone who thought that last year didn’t get when we ended up having trouble with the recording.

7. You are guaranteed not to get much sleep.

Have you ever met a person coming off a retreat saying that they felt well rested? No. The rooming situations alone will guarantee this won’t happen. When you are in a good conversation with others the corporate idea is “Who needs sleep?” It’s awesome.

6. You'll probably make friends with folks from other churches and have to spend gas money to go and see them again some time.

There are three churches-worth of young adults all coming together. If you go to the retreat you are probably going to make friends. If you make friends then you are probably going to receive a text saying, "lets hang out again", "that was fun," "lol <3". And if you hang out you are going to spend more gas money. Save yourself this hassle and just get dish network. I mean, just skip the Thrive Retreat.

5. You will probably end up liking coffee more as a result.

What you are going to do while everyone is standing in line for coffee at the little Starbucks bistro in the hotel? You’re going to stand with them. And upon seeing and smelling it all the time you’re going to want some and bingo, you’re hooked.

4. You could probably do better investing your money into something else…like a Ponzi scheme.

Actually, on second thought paying to come to the a retreat with your meals and lodging covered and a t-shirt and such seems a little better than flushing money down the toilet. That's because it is better.

3. Some of your misconceptions about who you are in Christ might just be blown away.

This is a big one. If you like thinking about Christ and union with him the way you currently do you definitely shouldn’t come. God’s Word is going to rock us. The times of fellowship and worship and teaching are all geared towards blowing these away and allowing us to worship and live according to our true identity as those united with Christ.

2. You might end up buying more books than you can feasibly read in a year.

I’ve done this every year of my life since 2001. I can't resist book-buying at retreats and conferences. The Lord stirs your heart and you look down at the few dollars you have and you say, “Why not?”. I hope everyone here joins the club and I will be selecting books and putting them out at the retreat to bait you, to dare you to buy them and maybe even read them.

1. You might just mature in your relationship with God.

If you don’t want this to happen, definitely don’t come on the retreat. Simply coming on the retreat doesn’t guarantee this will happen, but God might just have a whole lot in store for you and me and all of us.

So those are my 10 reasons why not to come. If I haven’t persuaded you otherwise, then you can go ahead and register here.