To Love and To Cherish
Most of us included this line in our marriage vows. And if you are like us, you have probably assumed love and cherish are the same. This is not true.
Gary Thomas in his book, Cherish, expounds on this in great detail. We encourage you to read it together as a couple if you haven’t yet.
Today, as we are all spending much more time together as couples, we want to give you something to help strengthen your relationship.
Gary compares the difference between love and cherish as follows:
- Love thinks about others with selflessness...Cherish thinks about its beloved with praise.
- Love doesn’t want the worst for someone...Cherish celebrates the best in someone.
- Love puts up with a lot...Cherish enjoys a lot.
- Love is about commitment...Cherish is about delight and passion.
He asks the following:
“If you believe your marriage has all but died or even just gotten a little stale, the hope behind learning to cherish each other in marriage is found in this, God is more than capable of teaching us and empowering us to treat and cherish our spouses the way he treats and cherishes us.” page 22
Marriage is hard work. And if you’ve been married longer than a minute, you know this to be true. Your spouse is unlike you, which causes great delight at times and other times great distress. How you handle the differences is what makes your marriage “for better or for worse.”
If you are in a “worse” season of marriage, we have very good news for you. Your best days are just around the corner. We have seen it time and time again. Couples who lean into the winds of adversity and allow God to deal with them as He sees fit, discover God was preparing a sweet blessing for them on the other side.
What does it look like when a couple leans into each other as husband and wife? They listen to each other’s perspective, pray for God’s wisdom and allow Him to lead them through the storm. They humbly ask forgiveness when sin has been revealed. They ask questions to understand rather than point fingers to condemn. They discover what being cherished looks like to their spouse.
From our current series on The Holy Spirit, married couples should acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s involvement in your marriage. What is He wanting to do to strengthen and grow your marriage for His glory? What area is a hot spot? Have you asked His perspective on the struggle?
We encourage you to make the most of the time God has given you to be together in this season. Plan a regular night each week to talk about these things. Make it your “at-home date night.”Read together, talk openly about your fears, hurts, and discouragements. Celebrate areas where God is giving you faith and hope. Ask what you can do to cherish your spouse during this season of COVID-19.
We are in this together, but no one is as close to you as your spouse. Let’s cultivate our marriage so it will stand this test. Our prayer is that the marriages at Metro will bring great glory to God and be an outstanding example for our children. They are watching and learning by our example.
For more ideas we invite you to check out our blog, TheRomanticVineyard.com